That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
is it fun? or sober?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
