you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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