Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
