I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
