Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
