I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. Itβs bad. But Iβll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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