Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
