btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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