If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
NoShamevember. You game?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
