Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
