just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dear god my vagina.
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