he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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