I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
