I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My nipple is on Facebook.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
