I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
