He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize