it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
