So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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