Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
