i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You need Xanax blowdarts
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
there is puke in my bra ... again
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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