I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
