Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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