You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was like his penis was on wheels.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
