I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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