This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
