If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
