WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
