Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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