I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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