you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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