What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
