Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
