Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize