I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
