Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
