He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
