Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
