My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
