some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize