two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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