All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
