who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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