i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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