Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
