so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Randomize
