she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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