If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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