he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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