so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wish there were birth control emojis
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize