When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
