sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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