Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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