Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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