Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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