You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
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He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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