why didn't you poke me back
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
