So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
